Jokes don’t have to be longwinded. Try these one-liners out on your friends: • I sold my vacuum cleaner—all it was doing was gathering dust. • I give all my dead batteries away—free of charge. • I hate elevators, so I take steps to avoid them. • I know a man who drinks brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time. • When will all the rhetorical questions end? • Women really should not have children after 35. After all, 35 children are enough. • It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things........ literally. • A hard-boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. • There are only 10 types of people in the world—those who understand binary and those who don’t.