Am I Being Detained?!

As some of you know, I’m a part-time police officer. I had an encounter with what we call a “Youtube Legal Expert” and the exchange went like this:

Him – [shouting] “Am I being detained?”
Me – “Yes”
“Am I being arrested or am I free to go?”
“I haven’t decided if I’m going to arrest you yet, you are not free to go.”
“I haven’t broken the law.”
“Yes, you did, and you told me you did.”
“I just borrowed her phone, and then I wouldn’t give it back when she asked for it.”
“That’s called theft.”
“It’s a victim-less crime”
“…… are you on medication?”
“Am I being detained?”
“Yes, I already told you, this is called an ‘investigative detention’. You are not free to go.”
“But I haven’t committed a crime,”
“Yes, you did, you even admitted it to me.. twice actually.”
“Am I being arrested?”

[after 3 cycles of him not talking to me and just yelling this crap]

“Let me help you with this… I really only want to let you off with a warning and a ‘Don’t do that nonsense again.’ But if you insist on being a jerk, NOT talking to me like a human being, and shout ‘Am I being arrested?’ one more time, the answer will be ‘YES, congratulations! You talked me into it.. you are being arrested.’ Are we clear?”

“….yes, sir.”

“Good, don’t do that nonsense again ok? It’s not your phone, it doesn’t belong to you.”

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